Upon examination of the underlying code and due to schema issues, reconfiguring the software to correct this condition presents a rather sticky and seemingly insurmountable technical problem.

    I don’t think it can be fixed.

    I have taken the liberty of calling a local attorney and have had him begin the process of introducing a name-change initiative onto the 2010 Fall ballot. The attorney voiced some concern over whether he will be able to gather the requisite number of signatures in time, so I’ve also asked him to begin filing a petition to force the town name change on the grounds that the word “Middletown” is in direct copyright violation of Middleton, Rhode Island, which has a credible prior claim to the valuable trademark.

    I estimate that the problem should be corrected within the next year-and-a-half, depending on which avenue produces fruit soonest.

    Sorry for the inconvenience.

    -SafeTinspector

    Goodbye George Carlin. And while you were ultimately wrong when you told me that I’d never hear a man say, “I’m going to take this red hot poker and shove it up my ass,” I can take solace in the fact that, perhaps. you might now be able to realize that unlikely activity without pain.