I haven’t been very regular with my postings for the last few months, and therefore when I noticed the site had grown slow, I put off investigating it.

Tonight I first upgraded to the latest version of WP and then took a closer look.
I found that SafeTserver had an outdated DNS nameserver defined and Akismet was timing out attempting to communicate with its web site.

Problem now solved, my site returns to its former glorious ignominy; carry on.

Police are warning about a new threat to our safety.

A new criminal walks our streets, threatening our way of life.

A criminal who invades our very homes.

For the past several months, this mysterious offender, known only as “The Bread Molester,” has been breaking into houses in order to stroke, grope, and otherwise fondle your bread.

Police sketch artists have issued this image based on witness descriptions:

Police are advising everyone to examine their bread carefully. You may have been a victim of the Bread Molester if your bread exhibits any of the following syptoms:

• Traces of saliva
• Penis-shaped holes
• A mysterious white sauce of unknown origins

If you or anyone you know suspects that your bread has been molested, please:

• Notify the police
• Store the bread in a cool, dry place

and, above all else,

• DO NOT EAT THE BREAD

Please! Warn your friends!

Spread the Word!

Protect your bread!

Only with your help can we ever hope to end the menace of

THE BREAD MOLESTER!

    I informed a customer yesterday that it was not possible to name his new server “BOB_BOB” because, for technical reasons, Microsoft operating systems do not allow for the use of palindromic names with an odd number of characters.

    ”This is why,” I told him, “you have never seen a Microsoft Exchange server named ‘MADAMIMADAM’.”
        ”It would be better,” I continued, “to name the server ‘BOBBOB’, as this is an even number of characters and would not result in the irrevocable loss of all your business data.”

    Don’t get too excited. You’ve already seen essentially everything this cartoon has to offer. It was, however, suggested to me that I might as well try entering something into the Aniboom/Fox Holiday Animation Challenge, so I hastily edited together the first four Don Juan Frankenstein shorts into the form of this:

    The grand prize winner not only receives a large quantity of cash but also the opportunity for a development deal with Fox. Not that I’m holding out an inordinate amount of hope for that, but hey, if a hack like Seth MacFarlane can have two fucking shitty shows on that network, why not a hack like me?
    Which brings me to the point: Four of the five finalists will be selected by a mysterious Fox voting panel of mysterious voting. The fifth selection will be made by fans via a nearly equally mysterious voting process that I’m assuming is tied to the Aniboom rating system and/or the number of times a cartoon happens to be viewed. Honestly, I’m not exactly sure how it works, but if you’re so inclined, you’re more than free to drop by and rate me.
    Besides, my birthday’s coming up–I’m turning the big three-oh, as the silly people like to call it–and you know what I’d like more than anything? A development deal with Fox so that I can sneak into Seth MacFarlane’s office and shit on his desk while he’s out enjoying the fruits of being the highest-paid TV writer in history, for God’s sake. Please! Help me shit on Seth MacFarlane’s desk!