Chase Auto Finance, Holy Crap
Posted on January 15, 2010
 On the way to work I missed a phone call, from a faraway areacode and a number I don’t know.
A stoplight provides opportunity, I dial back and an automatic attendant tells me that I’ve the unique pleasure of talking to the one-and-only Chase Auto Finance corporation. I wracked my brains but remembered no delinquency. The robots requested I tap in my account number or, barring that, my social security number. After I arrived at work the phone rang again, and I noted it was the same number as before. ”Hello. Is this Joseph…wit.. ted? I am calling from Chase Auto Finance about your oh-seven Saturn VUE?” ”I suppose you are,” I answered, “what can I do for you this morning?” ”We show your account as 45 days past due.” ”That’s alarming,” I said, “But I spoke to a fellow at your company about a half hour ago and he told me I was current and he didn’t know why they would be calling me. He said something about a problem on your end.” ”Oh, let me check!” and a flurry of tapping could be heard through the line. “Ah. I see. It looks like they have you in here twice.” I nodded, “that makes sense. I also have a Mazda leased through you guys.” ”No, I mean they have your Saturn in here twice. You have one loan for that car which is current and another loan for the same car which you’re 45 days past due on.” ”Well, I only own that car once,” I patiently explained, “so can you get rid of the second loan?” He endeavored to reassure, “certainly sir. And as soon as that’s straightened out we’ll take the mark off your credit report, too.” ”You reported me to the credit agencies?!?” Occasionally interrupted by my incredulous spluttering, he told me that Chase reports all accounts that are over 35 days late to the credit agencies, and that while they already know that they are in error, they can’t cancel the report until they’ve cleared the ghost car from my account. ”We’ll have it all straightened out in a day or two. You shouldn’t get any more calls from us today. Can I answer any other questions for you?” ”How did this happen?” ”It appears that your car dealership sent in the paperwork twice.” ”Huh.” After hanging up on this latest caller, I dialed the Saturn dealership and left a voicemail for their finance department asking to speak with them. I should like to thank them for this inconvenience. It was a couple of hours later when my cell phone began ringing with a familiar number displayed upon it. ”Hello, Mister wit… witted?” ”That’s me,” I lied, knowing full well that my name is actually Mr. Whited. ”I’m calling about your 2007 Saturn VUE,” came a pleasant female voice from the phone, “Your account is now 45 days past due. Are you intending to give us the car back?” I must admit my heart began to race. “My wife would probably object, since it is her car. Further I think you’ll find that I’m not past due and that you have me in there twice for the same car.” ”Oh, right! I see that here.” ”Good. I’m glad you see that. So did the last three people from your organization I’ve spoken with today. What you are going to tell me now is that the problem is on your end, that you’ll have it fixed in a few days, right?” ”Uh… yeah?” ”If you don’t mind, I think I’d like to talk to customer service now.” ”Oh. Do you need the phone number?” ”No, I already have it.” And so I called customer service. After identifying myself, the lovely lady who was enjoying my company bagan to ask me, “Are you calling about the ‘07 Saturn VUE or the…. uh.. ‘07 Saturn…” ”Yes!” I interrupted her with a certain rueful glee, “I think you see why I am calling you. I need to know that this will be fixed and also that my credit record will be restored.” ”I’m very sorry, sir,” and she sounded as if she meant it, too, “but you’re going to have to call the car dealership and have them call us.” ”What? Why?” ”They are the ones that sent in two purchase orders for that car.” ”And what if they don’t call you?” a possibility I thought quite likely. ”Then you’ll want to call your local attorneys general office.” My mind boggled, “Why? Did you actually send the money to the Saturn dealer twice?” ”Probably,” she answered quite apologetically. ”So if the dealer doesn’t cancel this loan for me you’re going to hold me responsible for the fact that you paid money twice for the same car?” I must admit I’d grown a little shrill, “a car which, I assume, had the same VIN both times?” ”I’m afraid to say that’s true,” she answered sadly. ”I think I’d better talk to your supervisor.” And thus I was introduced to Anthony, a nice man who initially offered me no hope. ”I’m sorry, but unless the dealership calls us and cancels out the second loan, we have no choice but to consider both loans as yours.” ”But I only bought one car,” I figured logic might be worth another try. ”Well, we have to loans in your name.” ”And I only signed ONE contract.” He asked, “you didn’t sign two purchase orders?” as if the alternative was unthinkable! ”No, I did not. I challenge you to find my signature on more than one sales agreement.” justifice flowed in my veins and pounded in my self-righteous ears. ”Can you hold, please?” Anthony then placed me in a little world where happy choirs hooted along with Jesu Joy of Mans Desiring. I clicked aimlessly at my email inbox. A minute or two crawled by. A click happened and then, “Sir, it appears that there is already a second cancel order on file.” ”What does that mean, exactly?” ”It means we’re already fixing this problem and it should all be cleared up in a day or two.” I’d heard that placation before, someplace. Anthony then went on to assure me my credit would be restored, I would receive a free puppy with all its shots, a subscription to a fruit of the month club, a back issue of MAD magazine from the early eighties with two Mort Drucker movie parodies and a complimentary milkshake transmitted by fax. In other words, everything will be fine. I got his name and number and will be calling him daily until this IS straightened out. Somewhat satisfied, I hung the phone up and turned back to my computer. Within minutes the phone rang again. ”Hello, is this mister… White… Whitehead?” |
Comments
Your story makes being called by clueless drones working for faceless corporate entities sound like fun!
But seriously, Mr Whiteyed, you shouldn’t lie to them. You and I both know that you have two 2007 Saturn VUEs. Just because you’d combined the molecules of both cars so that they both simultaneously co-exist in the same space doesn’t mean you can get away with bilking that poor auto company of its hard-gotten moneys. For shame.