Piscopolean Mediocrity
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My creativity and weight* are both at all time lows according to my bathroom Mass-Creatometertm. By doing some basic correlation** and by drawing an attractive timeline in the snow with an uncooked spaghetti noodle I’m able to draw this startling conclusion: There is a correlation between physical fitness and creative humorism. I wasn’t absolutely sure, so I did what I always do. I hit the lab, donned my ceremonial latex hand coats, Leica manufactured goggles, ate three pieces of chalk and started writing on the wall with my tongue. One half hour later I stepped back to admire my work: Incontrovertible proof of the Piscopolean Mediocrousy. |
Correlation(r) = NΣXY – (ΣX)(ΣY) / Sqrt([NΣX2 - (ΣX)2][NΣY2 - (ΣY)2])
N=the number of samples, in this case four
X=each instance of funny creativeness recorded. (on a ten scale where 1=humor sucking wasteland of absorbent pap and 10=gut-wrenching and devastating cleverness the likes of which would make a victorian bishop cook muffins on a stormy night)
Y=each weight recorded at the time in metric pounds.
date X Value Y Value X*Y X*X Y*Y July 2005 6.5(300) 215 1397.5 42.25 46225 June 2006 8(ep21) 230 1840 64 52900 Dec 2008 3(60′) 182 546 9 33124 Feb 2009 2(!!!) 177 354 4 31329 ΣX=19.5
ΣY=804
ΣXY=4137.5
ΣX2=119.25
ΣY2=163578NΣXY – (ΣX)(ΣY) / Sqrt([NΣX2 - (ΣX)2][NΣY2 - (ΣY)2])
(4*4137.5)-(19.5*804)/Sqrit([(4*119.35)-(19,5*19.5)]*[(4*163578)-(804*804)])
16550-15678/Sqrt([477.4-380.25]*[654312-646416])
872/Sqrt(97.15*7896)
872/Sqrt(767096.4)
872/875.84Correlation coefficient: 0.99
* 177lbs at present. I haven’t been this light since middle school
Math (or as they say in the UK, ‘maths’) makes me make the same face as you’ve made in the accompanying photo. But I trust your ineffable logic (pun intended).
And 177 lbs in middle school?? I’m 36 and I’ve not broken the 125 lb ceiling! Not that I’m particularly trying.
*Maths, of course, being an acronym for ‘Mathematical Anti-Telharsic Harfatum Septomin’, as ‘Look Around You’ has taught us.
You forgot to carry the 2.
I am apparently 174.2 pounds… At least 6 of those pounds used to be a six pack.
I blame the chalk! Your funnyboneitus is directly related to a pica disorder, and less chalk = more giggles.
Davecat, your maths are no match for my ignorance.
Rich, I did carry the two for you but had to put it down on account of I got tired.
Veach:The bones are liquid, as I was raised on a boneless chicken ranch.
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