ShapelyInspector Before and After
 This is a 230lbs (105kg) SafeTinspector photographed cavorting in water with his eldest SafeTspawn in the summer of 2006.
At this time he wore pants with a thirty-eight inch (97cm) waistband–and when he did, he found that they were a bit on the snug end of the belt spectrum. As recently as August of 2008 he was still 215lbs (98kg). Note the prominent jelly-rolls, mound of back-fat, moobs*, and the protective barrier of flesh artfully concealing the waistband of his swimming trunks. |
Now, here is a 183lbs (83kg) SafeTinspector in mid-November, 2008. The waist of the Inspector is now a full five inches (13cm) narrower than in the above picture and he can very nearly bench-press his former weight. He last saw this low a body weight 19 years ago at the age of 17. And since he had no muscle to speak of during that bygone era, he is actually in much better shape now than at any time in his life. How did this happen? Simple. Inspiration and perspiration.** |
I realized that my dream of being the star of a 1978 pornographic cinema feature could never happen in my current state. My naturally hirsute nature was ideal to please the pubic shrubbery acclimated public of the time, my wacky eyes and practiced sneer fit the task of gentle misogyny perfectly. But the flab needed to go if I wanted even the slightest chance at being an adult film star in the 1970′s. I’d succeeded in shedding the coagulated lipids and man-curd from my belly meat, and had already posed next to this trendy dream catcher when the fatal flaw in my plan finally was revealed: I don’t know the way to 1978 and my GPS says its not a location in the continental United States. EIther I need to purchase a new map-pack from Magellan or it is back to the drawing board for ShapelyInspector. Regardless, the weight was lost the old fashioned way: diet and exercise.
Once upon a time, in 2001, I was able to get myself down to about 185lbs briefly through near-starvation. I was not exercising at that time in any meaningful way and the weight piled back on as soon as I started eating again. I can hope that I’ll be able to keep it off this time; it’s really neat being able to wear “medium” shorts and “large” shirts (as opposed to “large” and “extra large”) and I would love to make this a permanent development. I’d hate to finally figure out how to get to 1978 only to find that I’m too fat to make it in the skin trade. |
* Moobs: man-boobs. And now you know.
** This marks the end of the third-person portion of the posting. Sorry about that.
*** But not entirely. I’m not a vegetarian, I’m a meat-minimalist
I am very proud of your accomplishment. You know it is so very hard for our family to buck our genetic fat storage advantage, which became obsolete in my generation and even one generation back. You look great, though unsettlingly familiar. Very reminiscent of your patre in his twenties. (Though he had less hair. LOL)
congratulations, sugar! xoxo
*Falls over in a faint from looking at the hairy chested handsome man on her computer screen. She then got up, looked again and fell over in a faint from looking at the hairy chested handsome man on her computer screen*
You know, I’ve put on 6 kilos… 12 pounds since I’ve had my tumour out. What an amazing difference it makes to give up cigarettes and not be living on pain killers instead of real food. I’m so fat. And I looooove it!
Joe-
This means alot to me. I am 225lbs, the biggest I have ever been and being a former athlete I look like you did in 2006 (no seriously you’ve seen my pictures were twins!) so when I see your Nov. 2008 I have to know I can do it.
Whats missing. I want to know more details about your workout habits, how much how often?
Last night my wife and I fired up our Wii fit and took turns. One did Wii Fit for 30 minutes while the other lifted some dumbells and did situps/pushups. It was a good hour long workout.
It got me away from playing EQ but in touch with my body. Damn, I hate being fat!
Well, bollocks. Since you lost all that weight, I guess I’ll have to return this manssiere (also known as a ‘Bro’) to the store. You would’ve looked so fetching in it, too.
Wow, SafeT! Well done mate! You look great. It’s amazing how much of a difference cutting out some foods makes when you’re doing exercise as well. When I’m at work these days I get a takeaway dinner in a small container so I don’t eat as much and I exercise every day. I was 94kg before I flew back to work last week and now I’m 91kg. Feeling the difference makes it so addictive.
Mom, Savanna, thanks!
Lyvvie: here, let me get you a glass of water. That’s right, just relax.
Rich: Fat and happy is definitely an option!
Troy: I started slow. At first I just did twenty push-ups and 20 back curls before my shower in the morning. Every week or so I’d add push-ups to the routine until I was up to fifty each morning.
At that time I started using free-weights again. About two times a week at first, just doing the basics. Bench press, curls, rows. On days when I wasn’t using the free weights I still did the push-ups and back curls like always.
Recently, I’ve added one day a week to the free weights, and have begun rounding out the muscle groups. So instead of just bench press, I also do incline bench press and cable flies. And instead of just curls, I also do concentration curls and hammer curls. And instead of just rows, I also do lat pull-downs. I also added some shoulder exercize. But I only do two muscle groups per free-weight session, always in opposition (back with chest, shoulders with biceps). I shouldn’t get TOO bulky, as I don’t want to look like a roider.
In my case I don’t need to do much lower-body weight training. My legs are naturally muscular, so the real need was for toning exercise. For this I play DDR and ITG (search my blog for information on this obsession). It fulfills the need for aerobic exercise while still being nominally a videogame–my favorite hobby.
More on the diet: it isn’t very strict. I just limit portion sizes, take smaller bites and take time between bites. I also try not to snack much and eat out very little. Usually only once a week on the weekend with my family.
A packed lunch made with real food is much better for you than the factory food you get at most chain restaurants.
And now you know!
Wii fit’s strength training exercises are excellent. I like the side-plank/push-ups as it not only makes you do the reps, but it forces you to maintain optimal tempo.
Davecat: Was it lacy? Tell me it was lacy….
Maja:It can be fun, but watching the scale can also be maddening as some fluctuation is normal. Don’t freak if it shows a kilo up once in awhile. Water and GI tract contents can easily cause that sort of thing.
I was going to ask if you had a mailing list for updates to your blog. I’d like to receive an email when its updated cause I been here every day since I posted and NO FREAKING UPDATE MAN…
HEY-Zues! Krist-OH!
For Rizzle my Safe-t-izzle and post artizzle asap – whitizzle
Troy, I believe my WordPress provides an RSS feed.
If you are using FireFox three, there should be a little RSS symbol in the address bar next to the web page. Click on it and you should be able to add SafeTinspector to your RSS feeds. Then you can see if there’s an update simply by checking the feed. Pretty easy, eh?
I haven’t really tried to get a mailing list working because the SafeTinspector debian server currently doesn’t have an SMTP daemon installed on it. I don’t want to have to worry about securing one, and haven’t ever really had the traffic to justify the effort.
My peak traffic was back in the old BlogSpot days. I sometimes think I was better off with that old engine.
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