I stepped into my boss’ office and stood next to him. As he cringed, rightfully intimidated by my aura of unstoppable masculinity, I placed one booted foot upon his desk and leaned in close, sliding my aviator glassed down the length of my nose to better show him my smoldering coals of manly eyesight.
    ”Let me tell you something about law and order, Jeff,” I said, resting one hardened, muscular hand upon his girlish shoulder.

    His response? The only one possible under the circumstances.

    ”Get that thing away from me!”

    I apologize for making every other man on Earth feel more girlish in comparison, but I really don’t have much choice in the matter. Take it up with your God–he signed off on it.