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    Greetings, fellow spotters. Its been an exciting year for Shopping Carts* in SouthEast Michigan, with both weather and economic conditions proving to have been the perfect breeding conditions for most breeds, really swelling the ranks of cart wobbles*** throughout the entire region. I’m excited to hear from all of you on how your local wobbles have been doing, as well as your diversity reports.

A shopping cart, separated from the flerd, wanders aimlessly.
    The distinct red patina and white rectangular flank markings of this Home Depot Cart catches the early morning light as it carefully navigates the shopping district. A careless human probably led this individual far from his wobble, and he must now rejoin them before he starves to death. The possibility of claiming a $250 gift card provides no comfort to him, as there is very little likelihood that this youthful Home Depot Cart can read English yet.

The last known Chrome A&P Screecher
    Remember, diversity in the wobble is just as important as population count. Many breeds have died out over the years, and the cart-spotting community still mourns the loss of the great Chrome A&P Screecher. There was some hope that a new colony could be established when one of the majestic beasts was spotted living in the wilds of the Star Gratiot Shopping Center. But a mate couldn’t be found in time, and without a breeding pair this proud and lonely trolly died as the apparent last of his kind.

An adult Marshalls cart and young
    Here you see the mother Marshalls cart hovering protectively over her tender young. The bright red coat of the young male will eventually darken as he reaches adulthood, but for now serves to help his mother spot him should he become separated from the wobble. At this age he is almost completely dependent on convenience item shopping.

The bizarre behavior of the Chrome Vegas Food Mart wobble
    Here we have the perplexing phenomenon of the Vegas Food Mart, in which the entire wobble was photographed pointing their muzzles at the sky, laying in a nearly endless line. The only evidence as to the purpose of this congregation may lie in the two crumpled sales circulars and one soiled condom found wound around the lead cart’s right-front wheel. The entire wobble lay like this for about six hours, eventually dispersing and going on about their normal shopping patterns.

    Due to an unexplained lack of vision, this sentence should now serve as the concluding paragraph of this article.

* Trollies for our UK brethren**
** And sistren?
*** Birds have flocks, cows have herds, crows have covens, carts have wobbles.