Today’s Bible Reading
The Holy Illustrated Dictionary of Microcomputer Terminology, 1978
An epiphany! A rebirth! I have become a new profit*! Through a chance encounter at a library book sale, a stranger drew my attention to this book by standing next to it and adjusting his hem. He was wearing a “Dog” T-shirt; knowing that the Dyslexicographic Theology Department** of St. Bernard’s Jesuit Academy considers that to be the true name of the divine ‘other’, I paid heed. As soon as he left the room for the sanctuary of the men’s lavatory, I stepped through the remaining cloud of sandalwood vapor and drew this tome from the stack.
I knew it for what it was as soon as it rested in the palm of my hands. A holy book, the scripture of the new age. It is ideal.
What it lacks for in narrative, it makes up for in declarative statements, which is the standard by which the best holy writs are judged. This is a troubled time we live in, with terrorism, internet porn, underage drinking, happy-slapping, American Idol and the inexplicable popularity of Rachel Ray all challenging the morality of our society. It becomes difficult to find meaning and direction when we are presented with so many conflicting messages.
I think the Illustrated Dictionary of Microcomputer Terminology 1978 can bring clarity to our lives, can offer peace where it cannot offer direction, and bring anachronistic technobabble when we need it most. So it is that I present you with today’s reading:
Teletype exchange–The exchange services such as TELEX or TWX, which provide direct-dial point-to-point connections using Teletype equipment. Facilities are also available to allow computers to ineterface through these services.
What is the Illustrated Dictionary of Microcomputer Terminology 1978 telling us here? I, your humble profit, will do my best to interpret the ancient writings.
We, alone, are all just isolated pieces of teletype equipment. Our vaccuum powered hammers lay still, with nothing to say and no way to offer anything to anyone else. We have no message. That is, we have no message until we reach out to one another by direct-dial and form point-to-point connections using TWX/TELEX. With the point-to-point connection established with our fellow teletype machines we can receive news and information from eachother, directions from those higher up in our organizational heirarchy, and perhaps even conduct business transactions for the betterment of all***. We can send love to eachother through direct-dial, and feed off one another’s strengths.
So go! Form a connection to the TWX/TELEX system and show them you are Illustrated Dictionary of Microcomputer Terminologians by your love… by your love. They will know you are Illustrated Dictionary of Microcomputer Terminologians by your love.
* I know what I said.
** Theology temnrepaDt, as their official letterhead reads.
*** All with a financial stake in the business in question during said transaction, providing that any such transaction produces a positive revenue entry or provides profit, that is.
**** This isn’t the first time I’ve started a new church. See Church of the Holy Secretions for details on my previous avocation.
broadcast teletext specifications…
0000 0 NUL(1) DLE(1) 0 @ P p
0001 1 Alpha Red Graphics Red ! 1 A Q a q
0010 2 Alpha Green Graphics Green ” 2 B R b r
0011 3 Alpha Yellow Graphics Yellow £ 3 C S c s
0100 4 Alpha Blue Graphics Blue $ 4 D T d t
0101 5 Alpha Magenta Graphics Magenta % 5 E U e u
0110 6 Alpha Cyan Graphics Cyan & 6 F V f v
0111 7 Alpha White (2) Graphics White (2) ‘ 7 G W g w
1000 8 Flash Conceal display ( 8 H X h x
1001 9 Steady (2) Contiguous Gfx (2) ) 9 I Y i y
1010 10 End Box (2) Separated Gfx * : J Z j z
1011 11 Start Box ESC (1) + ; K k ¼
1100 12 Normal height (2) Black Background (2) , < L ½ l ||
1101 13 Double height New Background – = M m ¾
1110 14 S0 Hold Graphics . > N n ÷
1111 15 S1 Release Graphics (2) / ? O # o block
= love… initiate teletext to reconnect with reciprocal love.
tortured…
But what about the smiting? You can’t have a proper religion unless somebody, somewhere is being smote. It’s in the rules.
Hi there! (it’s only me L>T) I have really missed you guys & your strange sense of humor. I mean, “St.Benards Jesuits Academy” Haha! How funny is that? Really? Am I reading humor into it? This is so James Joyce.
& The Illustrated Dictionary of Microcomputer Terminology 1978 Not only is it funny(?), it makes me want to have cybersex…with smiting virgins &…I’m going to see what Arthbard is up to.
Don’t read anything into what I said.
Just my bumbling attempts at humor. No one in real life thinks I’m funny, either.
At least, I’m not any weirder then you people.
I say embrace your inner weirdness. Be not ashamed!
If I, for example, were ever to bump into the Cheshire Cat, I’d hope like hell I could make him say, “Damn, dude, you’re fuckin’ nuts.”
Rachel Ray is biblical.
rich: Amen
ticharu: By love? A lovely way to go.
arth: I smote a beetle with it already. This text has EVERYTHING.
concerned citizen:You are WAY weirder than us. We’re COMPLETELY normal and average in every way.
Arth:If you bump into a 19th century fictional imaginary cat then you ARE fuckin’ nuts.
b-hip:In the same way that a pillar of salt is, I suppose.
You’re my pillar of salt SafeT
“Arth:If you bump into a 19th century fictional imaginary cat then you ARE fuckin’ nuts.”
Oh, well, that explains it, then.
Anyone for a spot of tea? It’s my unbirthday, you know.
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