The Dearth
There is a calcification of the brain setting in, I think. I feel it robbing me of the essential bit that I always liked so much. There’s been no music, no humor, and the heretofore easy act of creation has been unattainable and my loins remain unstirred.
Creative endeavors seem to me as sex must seem to the average eunuch. I see that there are people doing it, and I can intellectually understand that there is fun being had. But the fun isn’t for me, as it takes balls to play pool.
There’s been stress, there’s been the changing sleeping habits of kindergarteners and vomitous infants. There’s been animals and sliding doors with hermetically sealed miniblinds and at least one Phillips-head screwdriver. DST updates and the Doobie Brothers know I’ve been running:
I’ve grown so addicted to Dance Dance Revolution (DDR) and In The Groove (ITG) that wherever I go I travel with a spare shirt, a pair of dancing shoes, a hand towel and a travel-size stick of under-arm deodorant (Old Spice, if you must know). I have the DDRFreak machine locater set as a speed-dial on my cell phone so that I may plan my lunch accordingly.
I must look a sight: a 34 year old, balding man clad in a tattered WordPerfect 6.0 (for DOS!) T-shirt over black dress slacks, slowly soaking straight through the collar, back and stomach, my whisper-silent GBX shoes flickering across the acrylic pads. My legs are like Apollo’s or Mercury’s sans wings (do you fancy Roman or Greek pantheon, my gentle friends?) while my stomach continues to be that of Bacchus and my head, as always, mimics the surface of a scummy peach.
In a round-about way, this ridiculous addiction compelled me to “soft mod” my XBox and upgrade its hard drive. Originally this was to run StepManiaX (a “home-brew” version of the popular open source DDR-clone StepMania). But one thing leads to another and soon I am playing old video games from my youth for hours on end.
Nostalgia is a sin, people. A god-damned SIN! I repent, please, I repent and beg for mercy. But it may be too late…I’m playing Super Mario Brothers and Ghouls and Ghosts and my soul is withering.
It’s the Old Spice. That stuff is nostalgia in a bottle. I smell that stuff & I think of some old boyfriend I had in 1980 (that stole it from his Dad, I bet)…That crap has been around forever(but I still like it ;])
You are too young to think you are old.
l>t is right. At 34 you’re still but a chick.
Your calcification is 99.9999999% likely to pass, old chum, but it’s always that pesky 0.0000001% that’ll keep you up at nights. I hope it passes for you soon, darling. That’s no fun. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with a change of pace now and again. It might be that we all actually need that from time to time.
What’s all these ‘you’re young’ comments. The dude is out there play DDR! Don’t listen to them SafeT, that’s not only an awesome workout but it’s at the edge of modern youth culture. In fact… if you know all the hand gestures that go with each character and level of DDR, can I just say, “Who are you Peter Pan? Grow Up Man! You’re like 34!”. Ha! Just jokes.
I’m just bitter cause I never got to hear the end of Closure.
l>t: I don’t think I’m old, just… stultified.
sam,pcb: My pace has been slowing since September. I can trace it back to a specific incident which won’t leave my mind. But what can be done?
Rich: I don’t really know the gestures, and by devotee standards I’m mediocre-to-alright. So I suppose I’m not Pan.
As for Closure….I want to finish it. What a hiatus, eh?
SafeT – it’s simple; you need to get the incident to leave your mind or at least leave you alone. You know that yourself. The tricky part, however, is not knowing how.
My granny used to say the best way to start is to start. Why not sit down with your wife or a trusted friend and try and talk it out. Talk it out until you can barely stand to hear about it again. Bore yourself with it. This has worked for me in the past.
It might not come naturally – it didn’t for me coming from the Western Isles where we could be dying of consumption but still expected to shrug it off with an “it’s just a wee sniffle, it won’t stop me. I’m just off in this pouring rain now to dip the sheep at the fank.” But this is why you need someone you’re comfortable and close to.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling low, SafeT, hun. I hope you’ll be on the up again soon.
Sam:Yeah, well, it was a blogging “incident”, which immediately removes the sympathy element from any conversation I might attempt with my family and friends who are non-bloggers. My blogging friends are not so close to me…
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