What’s Wrong with America
My brother-in-law lives in a new home smack-dab in the middle of Southeast Michigan’s vast urban sprawl zone. Like most of these subdivisions, it was produced in a hurry by plowing over some handy farm-land and tossing up one or two hundred instances of three or four house designs. This process happens dozens of times a year here-abouts, resulting in boring tracts of cookie-cutter housing just as fun to look at as the rows of soybeans and corn that came before them.
While that’s a bit depressing, more irritating is that all these get hooked up to the regional sewage treatment system which hasn’t been upgraded in decades and is barely capable of processing the volume of shit from 1990, let alone 2007.
Each spring the Clinton river is the proud recipient of tons of the resultant sewage overflow, which oozes its way across the suburban landscape on its way to turning lake St Claire into what has become, effectively, a sort of inedible cheese.
The “park” so proudly and redundantly celebrated in the above picture, is what one gets if you merely refrain from cutting down a small stand of trees in the middle of your wretched housing development.
What is wrong, my friends, is that no one in the chain of decision making which started with “lets make a sign for our park” and ended with “we seem to have two signs for our park” ever stopped to consider the fact that they are stupid fucking idiots who should be presented with the opportunity to void themselves with a fence-post auger. Someone hold them down, I’ll go rent one from the tool center.
Posted in Uncategorized by SafeTinspector on February 16th, 2007 |
15 comments
Festival park: so ________ they named it twice.
Insert word of choice.
I switched to Firefox in large part so i could see your site again without it crashing my whole window out. It’s better now but it still takes ages to load. Is it me? Have you been putting up anti-bride repellers in your system.
For a while, fmc couldn’t get to my site but noone else has had a problem that I know of. Are their certain blogger configurations that are harder for certain systems to read? Do I need to do anything and if so what?
Sam: I’m not sure, but I use javascript in my header (that’s the thing with the pulldowns) and I call for your currently configured media player for music posts, and that’s about it.
There’s not much to it, so I don’t know why you’d have trouble. I’ve used IE6 and IE7 and Firefox 1.0 – 2.0 to access my blog without incident.
As for your blog, I don’t recall ever having difficulty with it, but you are on WordPress, not Blogger.
come to think of it I also have a little trouble loading your site. I just thought it was bugged or something. (that’s why I watch what i say over here)
I really have a pet peeve about ugly places with names that are pretentious or incongruous.
Don’t remind me. WordPress is for far more tech-savvy people than me.
When i lived in Minnesota, which is as flat as a glass of 3 day old champagne, I volunteered to drive meals to people with HIV/AIDS. I got all over the metro area which sprawls for miles and had to go to neighbourhoods called things like Arden Hills and Vadnais Peaks and Highland Park. It would get me every time; I would drive around this perfectly flat area looking area for a hill or a highland or a flippin’ mound of dirt to tell me I was in roughly the right place. I always was. There were never any mounds.
When we moved to Nebraska two years ago there was a lovely stretch of farmland between here and a near-by town. Not it is all strip malls, office space and badly built cookie cutter houses. The best are the ‘lake front’ homes. The builders dig a squalid ditch hardly big enough to call it a pond, you can’t even launch a rubber raft on these so called lakes, one pull on the oar an you’ll be on the other side, they fill it with water and then jack the price of the surrounding houses. They forgot to take one thing into consideration. Nebraska is in the middle of a fierce and relentless drought. Those lake front homes? They now sit next to water bogged ditches and they are suing the developers because their houses have now lowered in value. Personally, I think the buyers don’t deserve dime one for being so damn stupid.
Festival Park: Home of Festival Park.
I think this is a wonderful opportunity for people to realize that the best part of Festival Park is the sign that acknowledges that Festival Park is relatively close by.
What’s wrong with America is that its citizens spell plough weirdly.
HAH! farm land is for gayLORDS!
hello safeT.good to see youre fit n fiesty:)
l>t: Are you having trouble now?
Sam:I used to live in a land-locked city which was shaped like a square, more or less due north of Detroit. Its name? Eastpointe. Blech. We also have Sterling Heights, which is neither sterling nor high, and Madison Heights, which might be Madison, but is just as flat.
Rayne:That’s like the people that buy a new home next to a farm that’s been operating for 150 years and then have the BALLS to complain about the farm noise.
B-Hip: I want a similar sign on my car. “Ford Focus: Home of the Ford Focus”
Foot: But at least we don’t spell theater with a vowel on the end.
Geezer:YO! GEEZ! Fiesty, somewhat fit, but lamentably straight. No farm land for me!
it just takes a little longer then most blogs to come up. has a “ugh” in the middle of loading. I just contributed it to all the green.
I think you should have spent the money on some signs that said Clinton River. Home of the Clinton River. Home of the Sewage Ebola Cheese.
To hell with the trees!! I say cut all the damn things down and build hundreds of Tim Hortons!! Damn I love coffee!
Give it to the Insects.
l>t:Its either the header (Arthbard’s portion is particularly slow. I wonder where he’s hosting that. BTW:not sure what happened to Arth…) or its the music. Is it slow now that the last SafeTune is off the bottom?
G3Tfilms:Not my money, but I think that sign is around here somewhere. I think its on the beach and says: “DO NOT SWIM. DO NOT CONSUME FISH CAUGHT IN THIS LAKE.”
PJ:And Subway Subshops! We need MORE!
Jagd:Some of the insects already have it. Others are less thrilled.
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