Dilbertonian Inspirations
| Listen to these. They are–no crap!–samples from a CD intended to be purchased by employers looking for ways to convey appreciation and positive feedback to employees. Dilbertonian? Yes. Creepy? Yes. Hilarious? I certainly think so. |  |
Great Job!
It’s Your Turn!
Success is Yours!
Want more? You can actually buy a CD of this shit at The Good Cheer Company website. Frankly, I prefer my insincere acknowledgments to be more personalized than this. On the other hand, can there be a more dystopic act of affirmation than a bored man’s voice piped in over canned applause telling me how great I am? Perhaps, but only if it were accompanied by the tender ministrations of a set of scrotum electrodes firmly attached to my testicles, pumping 20 Amps of pure American alternating current into my genitals. How would your boss even give you this? Through voice mail?Scroll down and read Arthbard’s latest post! Now! Shut up! No, Eat a Sausage!
Posted in Uncategorized by SafeTinspector on December 13th, 2006 |
10 comments
that’s pretty creepy alright. I think i’d be a little insulted to get one of those.
Have you thought that maybe arthbard is NOT playing video games? Maybe he’s in jail or something? he doesn’t really look like a crimminal, but he does have a beard….maybe someone should check on him.
I’m hoping this post links you straight to my new blog since I’m trying to temporary maintain two of them.
I believe!
I was having a really bad morning. Thank god I played the ‘Great Job!’ one. Thanks SafeT.
“You’re the one who steps up and gets things done around here.”
Like, as opposed to your coworkers, who are all just useless slackers.
I’m not sure what moron would think that would motivate his employees, but I’m sure there’s someone out there …
I used to work in a place that had these, sort of, corporate worker propaganda posters featuring meaningless visuals accompanied by heartfelt comments about achievement and success. Yeah. Like I’m going to work harder because I saw a poster with the word teamwork on it.
They were motivational, though. They caused me to feel a constant, nagging motivation to slack off even harder.
I want a sound file with a sexy, female voice shouting “Oh My GOD! You’re Built like a horse!!” Maybe some other women in the background screaming “Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! ” Not sure it would motivate me to do anything, but I’d feel much better about myself.
L>T: It’d motivate you to find another job, I think. But… ITS ALL FOR YOU!!!!
Hobbs: ITS ALL FOR YOU!!!
ArthBard: They should put one of those little digital playback devices in the frames of those inspirational posters to play these recordings every time you look at them. After all, ITS ALL FOR YOU!!!!
pjwarez: THIS HORSE IS ALL FOR YOU!!!!
Fine! I can take a hint!
Rich, don’t be that way. You know ITS ALL FOR YOU!
All for Rich! But I thought you just said it was all for me!
Arth, ITS ALL FOR YOU!!!
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