Safe T Halloween
Hey, lookit Sam in her cute widdle cowgirl outfit! Yes, peoples it was a Halloween yesterday night, and with that comes Trick-Or-Treating.
Just in case you don’t celebrate Halloween where you are and, perhaps, aren’t up to date on the minutiae of American culture, here’s a refresher:
On Halloween, the physically immature offspring of common Americans don elaborate costumes and beg for candy from their neighbors in a practice intended to inculcate one another to the vagarities of homeless life, thereby instilling fear of failure and a strong academic/work ethic in the next generation.
On a related note, yesterday I witnessed an enormously obese woman wearing a bright green witch costume riding one of those electric senior scooters down a side street near my office. I didn’t have my camera, and it would have been awkward to have pulled up next to her and started snapping pictures.
Me: “Yeah, baby! Woo-woo, witchy-poo! Over here! Yeah, that’s it, big girl!”
Large witch on Amigo: “That’s genuinely hurtful. I hate you.”
You know, overweight witch upon a three-wheeler, you’re right. I’m sorry for mocking you. Queen sized witches need to get around too, and they shouldn’t let the gout or bad knees get in their way. I’m a bad person, really.
As a palate cleanser, here’s another picture of Sam! Now don’t you feel better about my insensitivity? I know I do. Having a cute daughter goes a long way toward justifying my own shortcomings. We handed out candy, used sidewalk chalk to draw pictures of creatures getting run over by the cars in the driveway, and tromped around the subdivision collecting sucrose specimens.
I went out dressed as a slightly overweight white man with short hair. I brought the family dog along to cement the bourgeois imagery and make it extra gritty and real. But ah, what might have been. I, too, could have been a cowgirl.
My brain keeps snapping at the imagery of you in a cowgirl outfit and now I feel all twitchy. This is not a good way to start my morning.
Oh that is funny! & she is a doll.
i had fun drinking wine & handing out candy last night. We had a large group of teenagers coming up to the door with pillowcases.(& no costumes) i went & grabbed a case of top-ramen for them.
She’s lovely!
How much haul did you get then? I’ve been feasting off the fruits of my children’s labours all morning. And I haven’t felt the slightest bit of shame in doing so yet.
I wasn’t fooled by that white guy with short hair and beard costume one little bit SafeT. I knew it was you inside.
I went out on Ace’s birthday as a “Bovine garcon”. It seems that Sam and I have something in common…
“in a practice intended to inculcate one another to the vagarities of homeless life, thereby instilling fear of failure and a strong academic/work ethic in the next generation.”
I didn’t know that. But I let down my guard and fired off fireworks (which I hate). No kittens will ever love me again.
Eeeeeeeeee, she is too cute for words. Well obvioulsy I used Eeeeeeeee, but really, normally I only use that for French bulldogs, so high praise indeed!
That is the best single explanation I have ever heard for Halloween. As a member of a country that has ratified the League of Nations Against Odd American Holidays UN Bill 1945 (it’s why we secretly fought with the Japanesse during WWII) I am finally relieved to hear that there is some purpose to your Halloween. This will go a long way towards cultural understanding.
Funny Post! Cute Daughter! Hawt SafeT!
Your costume was brilliant! I wonder if they sell those at Walmart?
Robin:Don’t worry, I settled on “Middle Class White Dude”. I even muttered imprecations about BMW’s, sports teams and war machines.
L>T:My rule is “No costume, no candy!”
Sam:Pretty good. Two bags, lots of good stuff, including banana Laffy taffy! A SafeT favorite! No shame, you did the time. And I can’t believe you spotted me in my disguise!
jagd: Fireworks? Really? More of an Independance Day sortof thing ’round here, Bovino Garcon!
fmc:I know! She’s way too cute for her own good.
Rich:You should see my explanation of the 4th of July. I’m just here to help.
B-Hip:All except for the T-shirt.
I also failed to be a cowgirl. They didn’t have the costume in my size.
See, if I had known about the alien invasion I would have advised the Queen at the last Commonwealth heads of state conference to stop wearing the black arm band every 4th of July. Oh well, next time.
Wow… Sam looks so much like you it’s scary!!
Feel free to bring extra candy to MS the next time you come over. Although I really HATE those orange peanuts!! Who makes those awful things anyway??
Rich:Yeah, well, history is this strange rhyming beasty.
PJWarez:Yeah, Sammy’s very much fifty percent Joe Whited genes. ‘Course, that’s to be expected–or hoped!
How dare you call your mother enormous or a witch, on or off a three wheeled scooter. That was no costume. Witches wear black not green. Besides you are green-gray color blind. It was Gray.
Seriously, shame on you for making fun. There but for the Grace of God, cutting fat from your diet, and a lot of excersize, go you my son.
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