Beware of the Leopard
So, not too terribly long ago, on my solo blog, I posted an entry about villains with conveniently descriptive names. Then, what happens? Yesterday, at work, I found myself putting together an ad for the local paper celebrating some kid’s first birthday. Which is a normal thing which I have to do often. The noteworthy part is the name of the kid in question. Let’s do it in reverse order, shall we?
Firstly, the boy’s last name is Leopard. Unusual, but as I’ve said about Goldfinger’s surname in the aforementioned entry, this is complete coincidence and not at all the fault of the parents.
But … His parents are presumably responsible for giving him the middle name Sno. Well, either they’re responsible or they lost a really bad bet, in which case they should probably be in a twelve-step program for gambling with their child’s name (“I’ll see your twenty dollars and raise you one unborn fetus’ middle name”). So the end of this kid’s name is “Sno Leopard.” Snow Leopard, you see …
But, they didn’t stop there. No. The first name has nothing to do with weather or large cats, but if you ask me, the name Xander is a classy enough badguy name if ever I heard one.
So, I think I’ve just been witness to the birth of the next great supervillain. As of now, the jury’s still out on his secret powers, though. Will he simply grow up to be a mad, crazy Snow Leopard collector? Will he graft mechanical leopard limbs to his body? Will a freak lab accident inadvertently combine his genetic structure with that of a leopard? Only time will tell.
I think I need to start taking bets on this, though. I’ve got ten-to-one odds on mechanical leopard parts.
-Arthbard
| On a leopard-related note, I found this fellow. He’s British, but I won’t hold that against him. Actually, I don’t think I’d want to hold anything against him, as fleshly contact is probably to be avoided in these cases. WARNING following this link will expose the man’s genitals! -SafeT |
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It’s like Carlos the Jackal. Poor kid, he was never going to turn out well with that middle name and surname. Mind you, Tiger woods managed to avert a career in international terrorism by embracing golf. Perhaps that’s the answer.
Golf is never the answer. Bad, bad Kieran, for suggesting such a thing.
His parents prob. started him off on a beanie-baby snow leopard collection & all his birthday gifts will be snow leopard related.
My guess is he’ll grow to hate his name & his parents.
the pic.not very snow leopard looking genitals are they?
But, being the costume loving freak that I am, I could see myself doing something like that.
P.s. Not that I’m promoting my blog but…I sure hope you guys participate in my latest post(it’s writting related)
He’s not exactly what you’d call lithe or cat-like really, is he. Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against the bloke but he reminds me more of Garfield than a sleek and magestically feral jungle cat.
And I wish he’d worn some briefs. All too tragically you CAN get men’s briefs in leopard-skin print.
Kieran: I suspect Tiger’s avoidance of the supervillain pratfalls is likely related to the fact that he has two different, descriptive name and was never able to decide on his particular obsession: tigers or woods. That’s a hard decision.
Fat Sparrow: I hate to object, but golf is occasionally the answer. Mostly, though, when the question is “What’s that boring sport white people play?”
l>t: “My guess is he’ll grow to hate his name & his parents.” In that case … Perhaps he’ll grow up to despise snow leopards and devote his life to eradicating them from the earth in a maniacally despicable fashion … Thus becoming the most ironic supervillain, ever! Interesting theory! Interesting!
Sam: Yes … He’s kind of a pudgy, awkward sort of leopard, isn’t he …? Like a leopard that sits around eating doritos and watching TV whenever he gets home from his job as a chartered accountant.
Arth:Chester the Cheeta personified and de-cooled.
Bard of Arth
Oops, missed this one. It’s funny that SafeT brought up the name Chester. There was a kid at our school in year nine, shocking I know, a kid at a school, but I’m referring to a specific kid who left after only a couple of months. Anyway his parents names were Mr Draws and Ms Cupboard (before the marriage) and they cruely named their son Chester. Yep, Chester Draws… as I said, he left after a couple of months of merciless teasing.
SafeT: He does kinda look like a Chester, don’t he?
Rich: Chester Draws, huh? … Wait … This isn’t him, is it? Maybe all that merciless teasing led him to paint leopard spots on his skin and pose naked … Y’know … To fit in. Peer pressure’s a bitch.
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