Footeater said he likes the footnotes better than the actual posts. Davecat requested an all footnote posting. I am nothing if not accommodating. If one clicks a footnote one gets a prize*.
- Nerderus was a member of the Roman Senate during the time of Julius Ceasar and was famous for developing new methods of using an abacus to numerically simulate historical battles. His final such simulation was a recreation of the climactic Battle of Zama during the second Punic War.
After three repetitions of his experiment each concluded with not only the historically inaccurate defeat of the Romans, but with the extremely unlikely sacking of Rome(1), he was put to death in front of a group of weeping classical mathemeticians.
- Unlikely in that the battle took place in North Africa.
- The process by which this mixture is created is a closely guarded and very pornographic secret(1).
- Lets just say the Mermaids like Unicorns a lot more than the story books credit.
- This sentance was written in third-person with the intention of scaring small children.
- You’re trying to turn me on, aren’t you… Stop… C’mon, no… I’m not in the mood, really… No means no! Oh… well… that does look good; ok, just one more byte. Its getting warm in here, isn’t it? Maybe I should take this shirt off.
- It would be filled with observations like, That burro pooped right in front me. Just like a liberal.
- Oh, are you looking for Closure? Part 22, in which we learn Everything We Ever Wanted to Know About Gorilla Bananas (But Were Too Afraid to Ask)
- More often than you think.
- Space-Ace was my favorite, but since his real name is right there smack-dab in the middle of his pseudonym, I figured I could only use him as an example if my penis’ persona was something like “Cleanest-Penis”
- As a child, Bananas thought that Bananas in Pajamas had something to do with him. This is partly true, since his parents, handsome Gorilla Cheers and beautiful Gorilla MASH, named him after the long running children’s show.
- Standard users! A meter is around the same sort of size as a yard. You may assume equivalence for purposes of understanding the story.
- Bausch and Lomb Hogwash–Now Mit Lanolin!
- You know, the dirt patch between row 5-H and the shower stalls?
- You think I don’t know I’m making no sense? I do know. I know it good.
- In researching this story I found that the woman’s condition is really known as “spider veins”. Since this seemed far less recognizable than vericose, I left the references in the story the way I wrote them: wrong.
- Tycho Dance is a psuedo-artistic combination of kobuki theater, tycho drumming, ice skating and lap dancing and is continually improving and adding new elements. Next year’s production is supposed to come complete with an Andrew Loydd Weber soundtrack and a watered down plot involving a romance between a dilapidated dance slipper and one of the larger tycho drums.
- Yes, the rocks tumbled with an Indian accent. You’d have to hear Bananas to understand.
- Disclaimer: ‘Phiffed’ is Not Actually a Real Word
- I still think Stephen Seagal’s version of “the Patriot” was better than Mel “Righty Tighty” Gibson’s.
- Hang In There!
- Do Not Attempt to Grow Marijuana in Glove Compartment.
- several dozen are me prattling on about crap I’m not qualified to talk about
- Now with meat!
- None of this is to say that there is no God; its just that one shouldn’t presume to subvert science, which is the celebration and exploration of creation, with attempts to prove the act of creation itself.
- Join my church. Send me money. I will reveal level 2.
* If you understand that ‘prize’ means a trip to the pathetic post from which the out-of-context footnote was extracted, then I am not technically lying. For the sake of my moral integrity, I humbly request that you consider it such.
** Riley’s doing great! Thanks for asking. She’s small, cute, jiggly, and good toward a handsome exemption on my income taxes. And I love her.
*** Heather’s doing great, too! You’re so thoughtful. She got her staples out this morning. She’s expressing herself well.
