The creeping MEME approaches. This meme, unlike guerilla warfare, suicide bombs and extra large beverage sizes, is comparatively harmless and will merely result in your being subjected to a list of mindless trivia concerning SafeTinspector.
    To make this easier on you, I’m employing collapsible lists. Click on the “SFT” bullets to expand the meme element you are inexplicably drawn to.

• Name Seven Films, SafeTinspector. And link them to their IMDB entries in case readers are curious.
• Mom and Dad Save the World
  • With Eric Idle and an antagonist named Emperor Tod Spengo, you can’t go wrong.
• Groundhog Day
  • Bill Murray undergoes metamorphosis and emerges from his chrysalis to discover he has become the hearth god of a small mid-western town.
• The Blues Brothers
  • Jake and Elwood Blues choose their mother’s wedding as the moment at which they announce their terminal cancer. Jake is surprised to find that his girlfriend is pregnant with, apparently, a bag of lemon flavored cough lozenges.
• Orlando
  • Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton’s best work. New Biology instructor Nick and his wife Honey visit the campus home of burned-out History professor George and his nasty wife Martha. Hilarity ensues!
• The Princess Bride
  • A morality play which endeavors to teach that arranged marriages can grow into loving relationships despite the presence of a collection of pewter figurines in the marital home.
• Dark City
  • More of a radio play than a movie, due to the fact that the titular darkness is absolute and quite literal.
• Mariah Carey’s Glitter
  • Widely considered to be the greatest movie of all time, this story, set during World War II, deals with the relationship between an American night club owner named Rick Blain, his old flame Ilsa, and her husband, Victor Lazlo.
• Seven Books. You can do this.
• The Sound and the Fury, William Faulkner
  • Cliche, I know. But Faulkner was America’s greatest author. He could wipe his ass with Steinbeck or Kerouac. But they are coarse, and his literary genius anus would be sore. That would not do.
• Snow Crash, Neal Stephenson
  • Who out-cyberpunks William Gibson? Neal Stephenson, that’s who! He’s into this alternative history crap now, but his science fiction was funny, clever, imaginative, and sublime.
• Ender’s Game, Orson Scott Card
  • Card’s best novel. It was all downhill after this one for our Mormon space cowboy.
• The Egyptian Book of the Dead and Tibetan Book of the Dead, Egyptian and Tibetan all-college writing teams.
  • The rivalry between these two teams of ancient collegiate writers is the stuff of legend. Following the unfortunate consumption of the Tibetan team mascot in a late night banquet hosted by the captain of the Egyptian team, the annual writing event was permanently canceled. But their works amuse readers centuries later.
• the Peace War, Vernor Vinge
  • The very opposite of proliferate, Vernor only publishes one novel every four to seven years or so. But they usually are very, very good.
• the Discworld Series, Terry Pratchett
  • Most overly prolific authors descend into a morass of crap. Piers Anthony, Robert Jordon, Terry Goodkind, I’m talking about you bastards. You all suck. But not Terry! Oh, sure, a couple books in the series are weaker than others, but he tries very hard to make each book sand alone and succeeds for the most part.
• Hell, There’s Too Much Science Fiction and Fantasy In This List, SafeTinspector
  • I’m outing myself as a geeky, dweeby, sf nerd. So be it. Leave me with my dignity and Spock ears.
• Attractive..um.. city things?
• There is only one attractive edifice on Earth. It is La Sagrada Fami­lia in Barcelona, Spain.
• This is Gaudi’s greatest and most unfinishest work.
• Its eventual completion will signal the end of mankind; we will have fulfilled our destiny and will therefore cease to be necessary.
• You will die, SafeTinspector. What to do? What to do?
• No I won’t. Bugger off.
• Can you not do that which you wish you could do, and what are these things you can’t do but would?
• Math
  • I can’t fathom these numbers thingies.
• Telekenesis
  • If I could move things with my mind, I could probably use a calculator and then I wouldn’t need to figure out these friggin’ numbers thingies.
• Clip my nails cleanly
  • I’m tired of bleeding out my fingertips. please… make me stop… if only I could use an emery board…
• Maintain a list of the last 27 actions I’ve taken
  • Useful for auditing.
• Form a symbiotic relationship with a friendly robot who can read my mind and loves me unconditionally from within an abdomenal socket.
  • Yay! Let’s use my new robot friend to figure out these damn number thingies and then we’ll pop off to have a heart-warming adventure!
• Dance and Sing for REAL
  • As of now, I can only dance in the dark and sing in the rain. I’d love to be a private dancer but haven’t a thunderdome to my name.
• …that was seven, right?
• What are some of the common things you say?
• That’s French
  • Normally not a pejorative. In this I am proving I am not Republican.
• I have a x inch penis.
  • Where x is a value between 8 and 27.
  • This is a baldfaced lie and is normally told to my wife, who knows better.
• Basically
  • Computer guys say basically a lot. We use it as a verbal pause button, and it usually prefaces information that patently is not.
  • Next time you talk to a techie, count the number of times he says ‘basically’. You’ll be surprised!
• This is Joe.
  • I answer my phone a lot.
  • I know in some countries it is customary to answer the phone by reciting your phone number, but that feels redundant to me and most Americans.
• Hi, this is Joe from Integrated Data…
  • I leave a lot of voicemail messages. They all start the same way and end in tears.
• Who would win in a fight?
  • Anytime I think of two coincident items or individuals I ask myself this very question.
  • I once staged a fight between a bottle of horseradish sauce and a tin of dried curry.
• That’s the second biggest monkey head I’ve ever seen!
• My apologies to Ron Gilbert.

It is customary to tag some individuals and request that they complete this meme in return. I have selected the following:

• Bernard Goldberg
• Sam Raimi
• Jim Henson (deceased)
• Your Name Could Appear Here!*
• DaveCat!
• I’m going to bed, how about you?

* if you WANT to be tagged, tell me. I’ll tag you.