Invoice For Consolodated Catheters Inc.
4.5 Hours - On Site
Responded to network down service request. Upon closer examination, it was determined that three cubic centimeters of confectioner’s sugar and one cubic centimeter of orange marmalade had been intentionally applied to the end of an RJ45 network connector and inserted into port 25 of HP Procurve switch with tag number 5676.
Obtained, trained, and implemented ferret removal method (FRM), whereby average sized ferret was cajoled into consuming said orange marmalade and confectioner’s sugar, leaving delicate electronics clean and fully operable with only the slight tang of ferret musk.
Engaged in extensive troubleshooting regarding attitude problem exhibited by male ferret and determined that the ferret was most likely suffering from depression due to lack of a suitable mate.
Setup windows scripting to automatically use Google API calls to display randomized female ferret portraits on a periodic basis upon 15″ LCD display panel in server area and enlisted the aid of an attractive young company staffer to help the ferret by providing him with a manual ‘release’ of sexual tension.
Advised that all employees clothes, lockers be examined and their breath be smelled in order to determine which person or persons may be responsible for the application of previously mentioned marmalade and sugar.
Stole packet of crackers from junior staff breakroom. IDSI ignored any and all requests for return of said crackers; IDSI, in fact, responded by appropriately ridiculing any and all humans within earshot. This was followed by conspicuously consuming crackers with much gusto and obvious oral satisfaction. There were no employees willing at time of service call to lick the remaining cracker crumbs from IDSI engineer’s face. Crumbs were brushed off carefully onto a paper plate and left on the desk of Joanne MacHuntly in Accounts Receivables without explanation.
Request was left that IDSI be contacted in the event of further trouble or if ferret required additional food or a name. (no name was provided for the ferret at time of installation)
huh? I sense fiery passion in those computer lingos
passion for crackers….
I’ve just noticed your logo looks rather like one of the flower pot men, Bill or Ben. From the old UK childerns TV show ‘Bill and Ben the Flower Pot Men’. Mmmh…..
Dan: Perhaps the Japanese fellows who programmed MegaMan way back in 1986!
Nope.. I think Flower pot men, as they where first created in 1952.
Have a nice weekend Mr inspector sir. I”m off to sample gin in all its goodly flavours, tis Friday after all.
good god man, you are funny.
i laughed the whole way through this one. i’m sure that the gov’t would like to know that you googled feret porn.. so they can put together some sort of conspiracy to you being a terrorist.
now i’m paranoid.
Dan: I know not of these “flower pot men” of which you speak!
Fatmammycat:And to you as well, my portly maternal female feline friend!
Sarah: Yay! Positive feedback! Glad you thought it was funny, that makes TWO of us. Ferret porno is a growth industry. Literally.
I’m not sure what that meant.
According to the FWU of America (Ferret Worker’s Union) Not only are they supposed to be referred to by a respectful name but also require two 15 minute coffee breaks and one 30 minute lunch break daily and they also require all ferret based religious holidays off with pay.
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