This monstrous hurricane mess down in the gulf is a tragedy. Almost entirely unfunny. Except…humans are funny no matter what they do. I’m so proud of us! Funny things:

Bush exhibited a fine involuntary sneer during his press briefing. It’s like he’s internally congratulating himself for having successfully negotiated an English sentance.      I really wish I could find a picture of the Elvis face he made, it makes me proud to be an American. Instead, enjoy this campaign sneer!      Side note that bugs the crap out of me:Neither George Bush Sr, Jeb Bush, nor Barbara Bush have a Southern accent. George, why would you fake an accent? My conclusion is that he uses the Southern accent to make his almost-retarded linguistic skills sound more appropriate. Simply put, he’s disguising stupidity as a dialect.
Sealed bags of chicken parts were strewn all about the streets of Gulfport, Mississippi by Katrina.      The chicken in these bags has rotted, and the resultant gas is causing the bags to literally explode in a rotten cloud of gibbed chicken flesh.      I would pay money for some video. I’m certain it can be used to hatch a new theory regarding the true nature of spontaneous combustion. One that would involve tragically overenthusiastic colonic bacteria instead of my original theory regarding wandering gangs of Kingston charcoal briquettes and their malicious immolation of elderly folks. For you non-US folks, Kingston Charcoal Briquettes are wretched pollution spewing incendiary cooking fuel that are extra handy because they come pre-soaked with fossil fuels! I used way too many adjectives in the last few sentances, but I’m too lazy to revise it. Besides, adjectives turn me on. Especially “pert,” “firm,” “supple,” and “wet.”
	Dennis Hastert, former cast member of the touring musical troupe “Up With People,” inventor of the Mango Twister Smoothy and current Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, went on record stating that rebuilding New Orleans “makes no sence,” and that it “looks like a lot of that place could be bulldozed.” He went on to suggest that the Federal government should do some serious thinking before providing financial assistance in rebuilding the city, partially because it is below sea level and normally protected by a system of levies.      Really funny because it makes you realize that in America people like this are not only elected to national governing bodies, but are allowed to become the leaders of said governing bodies!      Also funny because he was personally instrumental in defeating several budgetary requests for funds necessary to improve and modernize the aging levies throughout the last half-decade.      Even MORE funny considering he was once the tamborine player for Jefferson Airplane. I guess jingle-jangle mornings don’t make for compassionate souls.      Personally, I kinda think they should opt for a Venice type of thing
When I google image-searched for “Dave & Katrina” in preparation for the previous item, I got this picture. I really enjoy it, mostly because there is, apparently, an ATM and a half-drunk bottle of water in the background. It’s the little things that make me happy.

In Closing…

• Yes, I know that it was Bob Dylan that wrote Mr. Tambourine Man, and that it was popularized by The Byrds. So hush.
• Q:Why was this post so political, SafeT?
  A:Because I never promised it wouldn’t be.

The eyes of sponge are upon us, and our lives shall forever more be recorded within his invertebrate retinas.

Actually, I won this picture of Maja‘s butt mit SpongenRobertz through a contest on Geezer‘s blog. The booty prize, I suppose.

My greasy forehead can be a rich source of bio-deisel.
Just…promise to maintain eye contact while you take it from me.
And when you’re all done, it would be only right if you held me while I wept.